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NEW EPISODE JUST ADDED!! Goodbye, Toby! Was he fired? Did he quit? Also, Jim finally pops the question to Pam. Will she say yes? I know the answer. mooohaha. Watch and see for yourself

Goodbye, Toby. You will not be missed.

For those of you who love Michael at his least likeable and most cringe worthy; this episode is for you! At a job fair at Pam’s old high school, Michael completely turns off any student who might even think about interning at Dunder Mifflin.

So, pretty much everyone was invited to this job fair except for me.  When is it going to be Dwight’s turn? When will they all see that I am their superior — well, not in title, but in strength of body and mind.  I can eat through a metal cage. It’s true. I’ve done it before. Twice, actually.

Jim, Andy and Kevin go golfing with a potential client and Jim tries to kiss butt and get off of probation for dating Pam in the office.  I don’t think that office romances should be allowed.  ESPECIALLY Angela and Andy.

Stanley snaped at Michael. Michael and I came to the conclusion that Stanley needs an attitude adjustment. he also needs to get in shape because the man is fat. I keep myself in top form in case my country needs me. Or a wolf attacks.

Later on, I bought Andy’s car.

After spending the night at Jim’s, Pam has a problem — which isn’t surprising, since women are always having problems. In fact, women are the problem.

You can watch it right now for free, thanks to me.

Everybody is in a good mood at the Scranton branch because we finished our work early and don’t have to come in on Saturday. Everyone but me. I like coming in on Saturday: it’s one less day of the weekend to worry about. One problem: Jim didn’t alert security that they would be working late and now we are all locked in the parking lot.

Pam locked the doors from the inside, leaving us all stranded.

Luckily for everyone else, I’m a master at escape.

Michael announces to the office that he is now on the market.  I am also on the market but I am also taken because I am with Angela.  Who doesn’t know it yet.  But we’ll be together soon. 

Michael is hoping one of his co-workers will come forward and set him up with somebody.  I offer my cousin, but he declines.  I don’t blame him, my cousin is a beast.

Kevin informs Michael that Stacy broke up with him and now he’s back on the market, too.

Also, we’ve all lost our parking spots to renovations.

Michael invited couples only to a dinner party with him and Jan.  Since Angela and I are taking a break, Angela went with Andy.  I did what anyone would do and invited my aging babysitter.

Being an observant person, I noticed many things at this party.

1) Jan has rabies.

2) Michael’s television is smaller than the Schrute family television — and we don’t own one.

3) Jim and Pam look miserable together.

A lot happened today.  Most notably, Jan decided to sue Dunder Mifflin for millions of dollars, and the warehouse bought a ping-pong table.  I’m not sure which will cause me to quit first.

Jim has taken it upon himself to spend his lunches playing because Jim is a pretty boy slacker.  Pam quickly realizes her boyfriend must be a 12-year-old boy.  Strangely, she does not realize that I would make a better mate.  Pam also notices that Kelly is taking it a step too far by trash talking Pam because her boyfriend, Darryl is beating Jim.

I admire Kelly’s spunk, if not her personality.

Michael is feeling left out after finding out Ryan took a handful of branch managers and even Toby on a wilderness retreat, but didn’t invite him. Toby disgusts me because he has red hair and fair skin. He is a slave to the sun. I bow to no sun. In order to get back with nature, Michael asks Jim if he would consider a camping trip together. Michael must have forgotten to ask me.

He can count on me to get him duct tape and a knife. I keep both in my desk, my car, and usually a smaller knife on my person at all times. You can never be too prepared for a vampire attack.

Michael will be fully prepared to be a survivor man out in the forest, but if he’s not, I’ll keep a watchful eye on him.

Why do I keep getting passed over!? I’m not even Jewish. Karen!? KAREN is now the regional manager of the Utica branch?? She used her position of power to woo Stanley to her branch. Oh the cunning lass! She is a worthy opponent. For the right price, Stanley agreed to make the transfer proving once again that I am Michael’s only loyal friend. In Scranton the news was welcomed with applause, much to me and Michael’s dismay.

Oscar, Pam, and Toby formed the Finer Things Club that met in the kitchen at work. I don’t see anything fine with discussing non-work related subjects during working hours. On my own lunch breaks I like to re-read the Dunder Mifflin employee manual.

The rules were no paper, no plastic and no work talk allowed.

Michael and myself convinced Jim to go with them for a sales call. Jim is lazy but a charmer. I can exploit his charm and use it for my own good. Once in the car and trapped, Jim found out the truth. The trip was really a “panty raid” to Karen’s branch to make her wish Jim had never dumped her. My idea!

Michael was excited to know Dunder Mifflin bought television ad space in local markets, including Scranton.  I don’t own a television, it’s a sign of weakness.  But we decided to create the greatest commercial of all time, which wouldn’t be difficult.  But Michael didn’t like the direction the producers were taking…

Meanwhile, Andy was becoming frustrated with his slow progress with Angela.   I died a little inside every time she smiled at him but I hid it well.  Andy went to me for advice on how to get to first base.  I was about to kill my opponent, but there were too many witnesses.

Michael was so fed up with being kept in a creative box that he fired the producers and wanted to handle everything on his own.  Then Michael promised the final product was going to be great and that was how he sealed his own destiny…in a good way.